Madina Swan
"Don’t Love Me, Judge Me"

did I tell you guys i’m writing a book?  Yep..  it’s an autobiography called “Don’t Love Me, Judge Me”.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m certainly not vein enough to presume anybody would be interested in me or my life per se .. and I get that usually you have to be qualified and/or accomplished in some way shape or form to write an autobigraphy.  I am neither of those things..  however, I’ve had a rather ridiculous life and for the better part of it, i’ve laughed so hard I pissed myself..  Even well beyond the age that I should have stopped.  I just can’t help it.  When you see something so incomprehensibly funny that your body takes it’s hands off the wheel and goes rogue.. well your options are limited at best… pissing yourself is the least of your concerns.  I’ve done this too many times so I decided to write about it.

See, I’m a mono-zygotic twin whos been lucky enough to play NCAA D-1 soccer, live in Italy, travel a shitsworth, win a game show, get signed a few times and been super lucky enough to have a career in music for the past 8 years. Additionally,  I lost my mom and  almost lost my bff/twin brother in a horrific incident etc..  

Aside from all that stuff …I’ve also been carjacked, escaped a kidnapping attempt when I was 9,  rescued my brother after being roofied by a dude who would ultimately become one of my idols as the star of one of the most popular tv shows in the world,  had a bounty on my head for a stunt with fireworks and fire exstinguisher that resulted in the 4th floor of our dorm being evacuated by the fire department through their windows,  slept with my cat, flew to a random city in a Africa to then take a bus 8 hours south of that city to a tiny desert town to then meet locals who didnt speak english but agreed to take us on camels another 10 hours south into the sahara where we camped for 3 days and then I started shitting myself so i walked out into the dark desert and tried to bury the shit but a pesky desert breeze blew my soiled toilet paper all the way back to camp and i woke up to one of the africans questioning me while holding a strand of my shoddy toilet paper and had to ride  next to him for the next 10 hours back to the tiny desert town, pissed on my dad in the middle of the night on a recruiting trip to NC State at age 18, painted and dumped our pet pig through the window of a sororrity house when our landlord evicted him (our pig was not harmed in said mission),  and so on and so forth. 

now i know what you’re thinking ..  

1.  holy cow that was a run on sentence.    and

2.  he slept with his effing cat!?  

(answer key:  1. T   2.  F)

that is just a fraction of the stupidity and ridiculousness that is my life.  I assure you my book is slightly better grammatically and gets juicy.  I intend to launch a Kickstarter in the next few days so if anyone would care to help me get this thing up n running.. well id be much obliged :)    xo

The Presidents #87

Happy New Year !!

2011 was pretty amazing over all.  We released “World War III” internationally and began our 3rd touring cycle.  Europe/UK was incredible as always and we’ve only just started on the US which we will continue in a few weeks with Hawthorne Heights.  Just before that though we get to visit Tokyo and just after we finally get to go back to Australia for Soundwave 2012. 

We’ve waited a long time for this year.  We’re expecting a verdict in Matthew’s case as well as a complete re-launching of WWIII.  Madina’s planning a 2nd single as we speak and we’re working on a Madina DVD as well as the official release of  The Madina Lake Trilogy.  All of which can be found at http://www.madinalake.com.   

You’ll hear a lot more about all of that in the next couple weeks but now it’s time I share with you a more personal story.  A dream really..   you see I woke up one morning a few weeks ago and decided that I absolutely must score a goal in a hockey game. now I know what your thinking.. and youre right..I’ve never played hockey.  I’ve never really even been ice skating and i really have no business doing either.    But alas, once a dream pops in my mind..  i can’t just ignore it.  Believe me I tried.  but this one just kept nagging me and nagging me. 

with a few phone calls I tried to wiggle my way onto a couple men’s team but nobody took me seriously.  until that is …  I met michael.  Michael and has a rich history in the arts and ways of hockey.  see, michael understands the necessity of quenching a desire to put on some ice skates and shoulder pads, pull a giant jersey over your head, grab a stick and hit the ice.  He knows the burning sensation of handling a puck, spinning a few opponents and launching it into the netting of a gorgeous red iron hockey goal.  michael, in essence, understands me. Not only does michael understand me..  he also plays on a real hockey team called the Hayanissport Presidents. 

after a few drinks I managed to convince michael i was worthy of a shot.  All I asked was 2 minutes of his time…  well 2 minutes of their time,  2 minutes of ice time… as a President. 

much to my delight, michael accepted.  2 days later, at approx. 11pm I was standing outside my apartment building in full pads, skates, stick and the glorious green President’s jersey…  #87…  I was on my way.

We pulled up to Johnnys Icehouse on Madison (where the Blackhawks practice) and rolled into the locker room.  Just like my dream, there were all the lockers in a neat row, pads, sticks and skates strewn about.  the sweet smell of zamboni fuel and BenGay, the sounds of sports tape ripping and Man talk popping off everywhere..  i’d arrived. 

Now keep in mind..  I told Michael that I’ve never actually skated but not to worry, I was a natural athlete.  He decided not to tell anyone on the team anything about me..  but that I was a ringer - and a much needed extra substitute…  

what you’re about to see is all real..  and unfortunately only a fraction of the damage I did. and even though I was asked to leave after the 2nd period…  was threatened bodily harm by players on my own team.. suffered minor contusions of the chin and elbows..  it was MY dream..  and NOBODY can take it away from me..    enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1deHIK7ntps

We Talk Party Tour

So we landed in Chicago 2 nights ago after finishing off the best UK/European tour we’ve ever done- After being sidelined/off the radar for almost 2 years, we figured it was going to take some time & hard work to get back in the game - but thanks to the incredible international support and our Madina family - it felt like we never left.  *Crunkles

We’re currently on our way to Baltimore where we kick off the Me Talk Pretty tour~

It”s good to be back in the US and feeling normal again..  even though  Matthew’s fighting off several difficult longer-term affects from his incident, he is playing his ass off.  He blows me away every night (*sidenote- i initially forgot to put ‘away’ in that sentence- almost went to print before catching it last second- yuck ok moving along) cuz I know more than anybody what he’s really feeling and how hard he works to “mask” his pain.  Yet he insists we stay on the road and support WWIII.  I admire him more than ever.

Moving along..  turns out Mateo has been a bit exhausted from the tour and has some personal matters to deal with back home. For the immediate future we’ve tapped our dear friend Crispy, to take over guitar duties for the first round of dates.  Crispy hails from our close friends- the Chicago based band Comasoft (check them out athttp://www.facebook.com/comasoft, @comasoft).  We’re super lucky to have him filling in and are very grateful to his band for lending him to us- thanks gentlemen!  Anyhow.. come hang out on this tour - its gonna be fantastico - plus we get to personally thank you all for the support and of course so we can give you the best Madina show yet…  all the love in the world creepers :)

jamiepham:

Madina Lake UK and European tour dates. Tickets are on sale now. Please re-blog!  

jamiepham:

Madina Lake UK and European tour dates. Tickets are on sale now. Please re-blog!  

MADINA’s WORLD WAR III EURO/UK TOUR

this will be the best time of all time.. (and it slightly pains me to say so because “time” is one of humanities worst inventions…  well that an the AtomicBomb.. ugh i know, i even annoy myself).. anyhow where was I? ahh yes..

Sooo, we need a favor from y’all.. whether you’re going to any of these shows or not.. we need pictures of you and/or your friends to be included in a part of the show.  so if you wanna see yourself on stage.. or just have a bunch of kids around the world see you..  send pics to madinaworldwarIII@gmail.com and/or tag madina lake in them on FB.  not only will this make our page views look cool-moe-dee .. but will serve as part a very important statement we’re making on this record, on this tour and as madina.  the pics can be absolutely anything so long as you and/or friends are in them . they’re PG-13 and you ‘re cool with us using them for our stage production… we loves you all and thank ya..  

ps. if it tickles yours pleasure detector-  follow us @madinalake and myself @madinaswan

MADINA LAKE’s WORLD WAR III TOUR featuring My Passion and SuperHappyFunClub

TICKETS AVAILABLE AT http://www.madinalake.com

Nov 01 Underground Köln Cologne, Germany     Nov 02 LOGO Hamburg Hamburg, Germany     Nov 03 Magnet Club Berlin, Germany     Nov 04 Dynamo Eindhoven, Netherlands     Nov 08 Wedgewood Rooms Portsmouth, United Kingdom     Nov 09 Concorde 2 Brighton, United Kingdom     Nov 10 Electric Ballroom London, United Kingdom     Nov 11 Great Hall, Cardiff University Student Union Cardiff, United Kingdom     Nov 12 O2 Academy Birmingham Birmingham, United Kingdom     Nov 14 Corporation Sheffield, United Kingdom     Nov 15 Glasgow Garage Glasgow, United Kingdom     Nov 16 Manchester Academy 2 Manchester, United Kingdom     Nov 17 Waterfront Norwich, United Kingdom     Nov 18 Lemon Grove Exeter, United Kingdom                              
Confessions

ok so I had an accident over the weekend.  since a handful of my last blogs have a bit of a heavy vibe to them I figured I’d man-up and share this one because well…  it may make 1 or 2 of you laugh.  it may also offend some but since i don’t believe in offending or getting offended - i’m just gonna roll the dice..  not to mention i just read a killer review of WWIII from a mag we’ve loved, respected and wanted to hear from forever so i’m in a wonderful mood..  might as well destroy myself, right? lol

Operation “CandyGramForMongo”

(some names have been changed or removed to protect the identities of those involved)

it all started when a few of us were working on a project over by my sisters house…  i mean my neighbor’s house?   anywho..we dubbed the project “CandygramForMongo”.  Unfortunately it’s classified, so I can’t get into specific details but i will say that a key ingredient required in said project was…   hmm .. it’s hard to just say it..  but uhh ..  well it was human fesces.  don’t love me, judge me.

Being the inspired go-getta I aim to be, I graciously volunteered my own for the job.  Only problem was I didn’t have to go.  So my sister, i mean my neighbor,  took action and whipped up a concoction of epsum salt and hot water that ultimately proved too big for my size..  being none-the-wiser, I took down the whole cup in seconds.. and this just a mere moments before she recommended I sip sporadically so as not to “overwhelm the bowels”.   thanks for the advice twisted sister.. i mean neighbor.

We all stepped outside to hang out on the patio as we waited for the concoction to take affect. It was a beautiful night and the lunar cycle had just let go of it’s month long full moon.  A perfect temperature of 77 degrees and some good conversation essentially dissolved  “CandygramForMongo” from the forefront of our minds.  Quite frankly, I forgot all about it until I felt a sudden twist in my stomach that can only be compared to a grouchy, 30 foot Boa Constrictor squeezing and slithering it’s way through my intestines.  At the time we were discussing the trials and tribulations of relationships and it had started to get a little tense.  Seeing as tension tends to make me feel uncomfortable and squirmy,  often when presented this scenario I’ll do something outlandish to change the topic (for example: there was that time at our friend Schabeaschels lakehouse when Madina was fighting like crazy so I decided to stand up fully clothed in broad daylight and piss myself.  That one kind of backfired cuz Schaebezel got mad that the piss ran down my jeans and onto his parents deck.. he ran to get a towel while everyone else just stared at me… eh ya win some,  ya lose… more lol).

Anyhow..I realized this snake squeezing my intestines had seemed to fill my stomach with a significant amount of gascious pressure.  To the extent that, really.. just a slight push would likely do the trick.  so I went for it. 

Well… turns out that ever so slight push unleashed a sonically abrassive, pungently relentless and substancially curious explosion of  everything that had ever visited my stomach.  In other words folks, I shit myself.  now many in this case are probably picturing a “shart” - ( pronouned “shh uu ART”: the term shart often describes a fart that releases a spattering of pooh into ones clothings… the term had it’s rise to fame in the early 2,000s when it began to appear on the silvercreen and has since been an internationally recognized, though somewhat over-used word-celeb.) But alas, mine wasn’t a shart.. I swear some shit from an 80’s chicken macnugget probably made it’s escape with this thing. 

There was a deafening 3-4 second silence and the stunned looks on everyone’s faces ranged from shock and horror to confusion and numbness.  My animal instinct kicked in and I immediately sprang up and began my sprint toward the door and eventual bathroom/shower.  I must have been going about 64mph (which is pretty fast for a human) and as I approached the door it appeared open so w one swift leap-step I launched toward it.  This is when everything went black.

Moments later I opened my eyes.  I was on my back, half of my body inside the house, other half outside.. covered in blood, mangled screen netting and crap.  To make a short story long .. I shit myself, ran through a screen door and broke my nose.  oh btw it’s kind of personal… don’t tell anyone?

so … how are you guys??

WWIII - baton down the hatches

were chillin in our rehearsal spot in chicago putting our headlining set/show production together for the WWIII touring cycle. now that we’ve accumulated 3 records worth of material and have reached the conclusion  of our Madina Lake story- were goin all out. I can assure you this will be the best show Madina has ever presented and can’t wait to get started.

pre order bundles are available at  http://www.indiemerchstore.com/item/12534/
tour dates and ticket information can be found at:
http://www.madinalake.com

I’ll be posting a more detailed blog by the end of the day but wanted to check in to say thank you all - we can’t wait to see you !!

xoxo
Nathan

and if you have a moment to vote for my guuurl Jenna I’d appreciate it tremendously ! follow this link and vote for Jenna Martinelli at http://www.dealavuecontest.com

what goes down ..

shall always rise again, yeah? well that’s what I like to think anyway..  As y’all know 2010 was a pretty consistent plummet to depths of reality I didn’t know existed.  I’m officially making this the last “woah is me” blog and demanding that 2011 be the best year of all of our lives.  And let me tell ya.. it’s off to an AMAZING start.  I can’t explain in detail just yet but hopefully will soon…  before I get to our plans for this year, i wanna tell you about my final 6 days of 2010.

I got my car booted.  Thats right, I accumulated enough parking tickets wherein the lovely city of Chicago felt a lesson must be taught and they put this giant clamp on my front tire and enough florescent orange stickers on my windshielf to let all my neighbors know.. this guy blows.  Not realizing that in order to remove it I’d have to pay off every ticket my entire family, friends, their friends and their granparents cousins ever got since the 80s.. ish.  $1,200. worth.  awesome

3 days later we parked at a bar.  Being the responsible people we are, we felt like we had a bit too much to drink and took a cab home.  Little did I know that the inch of snow on the ground suddenly deemed that parking spot a towzone.  $360. to get my car out of impound. 

A few days later, hit a pot-hole and my tire exploded.  Borrowing Matthew’s car (not realizing someone stole the license plate renewal sticker off it)..  I got pulled over.  When the cops got to my window for some reason I’ll never stop making fun of myself for, I said the following:  “Hi officers, I just wanted to thank you for the amazing work you did with my brother’s case a few months ago.  Ya see..  he was in this..”  The cop cut me off and goes.. “i don’t know or care what you’re talking about.. license and registration please”.  “Umm ok, well you see it’s not my car so ummm maybe hang on while I think?”  looking around for several minutes they asked me to step out of the car. Then I did something I’ll never understand about myself for the rest of my time on this planet.  I’ve gone over it and over it since and truly have no idea which synapses in my brain decided this might be funny.  I got out and fake stumbled into the street.  “haha just kidding officer”..   apparently the fake stumble was so poorly executed that he didn’t even flinch.  He didn’t laugh.  He didn’t even say a word.  The silence was deafening so I just put my hands on the top of my car and said “ok, have at it”.  He didn’t even search me!  The awkwardness was getting thick.. I turned around and said something about the weather..  when fortunately the other officer who was by now fisting my car for drugs or weapons found the registration of all things lol.  I got “off” with 3 tickets.. all of which sticker/registration/no insurance card on me related. 

and finally .. on New Years Eve I got in my elevator to grab some champaign for the big celebration..  hit the “fl 1” button and began my decent.  Upon reaching my destination, only one of the doors opened.  Yep, stuck.  I sat down yoga style and convinced myself that clausterphobia wasn’t real and that I somehow just took enough xanax to take a nap (neither of which were true).  Then I opened the emergency call box to find a couple frayed wires and broken pieces of plastic..  not a phone in site.  Eventually I called 9-1-1 who I’m pretty much on a first name basis with at this point.  30 minutes later Chicago’s finest got me out with the Jaws of Life. 

Ok .. enough of my life as a comedy of errors. Madina is on creative fire and are in the process of sorting all of our label affairs, release dates, etc for World War III as we speak.  We’re hoping for a Spring/early Summer release and believe me..  it’s going to be the best moment of our lives to date.  In the 6 days of 2011 we’ve finally gotten several amazing things secured.. all of which we will be announcing ASAP.  We’re going to play Chicago in late March then head to Japan to kick off our WW3 touring cycle.  Obviously this all depends on Matthew’s condition at the time but we’re workin on him every day and very optimistic.  Thank you all for your relentless support and commitment to Madina..  I’ve never been more proud to be part of the family we’ve got.. love you all and we will see you soon..  i guarantee it.  xoxo

now i’ve done it

sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches. the tricky part i’ve found is not knowing how many of them are comin.  I like to reference any of the “Rocky” movies.  The guy gets wailed on the entire match, non-stop punches until he’s just about to die and then somehow manages to squirt out one punch and win. As much as that used to annoy me as ridiculously unrealistic, i’ve finally seen the point.  It’s not about the amount of punches you take, it’s more about getting up after each one of them.  that might be one of the lamest things I’ve ever said,  please forgive me

We’ve had a relentless 6-9 months.  Believe it or not, the past 2 have continued, one shocking event after another.  Did I tell you how I broke my fingers?  Ok, truth be told it was only 1 broken finger but I find I get more attention saying 2.  Not to mention the other one hurts pretty damn bad it might as well be broken.  Here’s how it happened..

So our dudes in papa roach came to town and played at Congress which is an old ass (yet bad ass) theatre in Chicago.  The dressing room had a window that led to an old school firescape.  ya know the ones with the iron platforms and stairs that fold down in case of fire?  well yeah, we were out on that thing enjoying a beautiful view of the city.  There were about 5 of us out there and one more began to climb out the window onto the already crowded platform so I moved over to make room.  Coincidentally I was talking at the time and as I leaned back against the railing (that I had in my previous position)..  I just kept goin.  It was my 2nd best fall of all time.  I usually judge falls by the time it takes from the start of it to the moment you stop moving.  My best fall (off the stage in Houston on Halloween 2008) clocked in at just under 11 seconds.  This one was about 4-5 seconds (if you really picture it… thats a long time).  There simply was no railing and I just tumbled down the staircase.  Ok that’s not exactly true.. Truth is I weigh all of 1.7 pounds so the staircase never even deployed lol.  Pleased with myself at the entertainment I had provided for my friends, I picked up my dignity and moved on.  Show ended and we decided to have everyone come kick it on my rooftop.  Only problem was my car had been towed.  There are no problems, only challenges.. so we jumped in a cab and went to my rooftop.  This is where things got awesome. 

It was super windy that night and about 6 of us were up there having some drinks waiting for the p-roach dudes to arrive.  I was talking to some shady dude that one of our high school friends brought over about how today’s House music just doesn’t compare to the early days of Bad Boy Bill or some shit I know nothing about but pretend to so people will like me.  Suddenly a massive plume of black smoke (picture the smokemonster in “Lost”) meanders it’s way from the adjacent rooftop over our heads.  My building is an old “U” - shaped (well more like ” I_I “) loft and we’re on one of the sides while the bottom of the “I_I” exploded in flames.  After a quick pause for some FB pics, we called 9-1-1.  jk.  I’m pretty sure my first call went something like this.. “my building exploded!” click.  So I called back cuz I forgot to give em the address lol.  We ran downstairs grabbed the cat and my xanax and started banging on doors as we made our way down the stairs.  We got outside and started calling people from the intercom to wake them up just as the fire trucks arrived. 

Being the good neighbor that I am I called my friend Matt next door to make sure he was all good.  He was at a party..  but his dog wasn’t.  He asked me to go get Spencer.  titch bits.  I’ll admit, it dawned on me for a brief second… maybe I could be a hero?  So I waited til nobody was looking and ran back in.  All the way up 6 flights of stairs (pausing on the 4th to barf, i’m out of shape) and into Matt’s apartment.  Admittedly I went in pretty excitable.. after all there was a fire.  Briefly forgetting dogs don’t speak much English, I went in screaming “spencer! the buildings on fire, we gotta get outta here pal!”.  He mauled me.  I took a 5 minute beat-down from him until I managed to get his collar on.  Ran him all the way downstairs (pausing on the 2nd floor to barf) and out to safety.  My hand was bloody and my finger(s) broken.  The best part of it however was that the fire never even made it to our wing.  Not even a waft of smoke.

a brand new madina

heyyoo !
just wanted to check in with you guys.. we’ve been on a mission to get things back to “normal” for weeks.  pushing ahead with Madina while whipping Matthew back into shape.  Unfortunately he ended up back in the ER yesterday with a ruptured wisdom tooth.  These are the types of things we’re going to be dealing with for the next year..  Injuries of this magnitude do all kinds of things to the body and one of them was shaking loose a wisdom tooth and having his immune system fighting so many things, it’s bound to fail from time to time.  However, we’re getting through it and are ecstatic of the notion that just maybe one day things will be back to normal.
The alleged suspect has been formally charged with Attempted First Degree Murder, Aggravated Battery Causing Serious Bodily Harm and Aggravated Battery in a Public Place.  More on that in time but focusing on the positive ..The “Through The Pain" benefit shows start tonight.  It’s a grandiose display of Chicago’s integrity, loyalty, compassion and strength and we’re so effing lucky to have such amazing people in our lives.  After these shows we’re going to be releasing a new song from our forthcoming record "Word War III".  We’d been demoing tracks for the record and Matthew recorded bass on this song the day before the incident.  He was the last to record on it which is kind of strange because lately we’ve been tracking guitar and vox first, drums & bass last..  lyrically, the song is oddly premonicious (which is a word i think i just made up lol)..  anyhow, we’re very proud of it and can’t wait to share..  details of it’s release will be determined this week so stay tuned..
as always, thank you again for everything..  we’re putting madina back together and the EP and WW3 are just around the corner which will begin a brand new chapter in our lives, band and perspective.  There’s an old adage I try to live by which says  “you are who you are and where you are because of the dominating thoughts that you allow to occupy  your mind” .. so let them be positive, optimistic and inspiring thoughts..  crush the rest of em..  
xoxo